Tuesday, January 27, 2009

These jokes are good - Part 2

The Devil

Three guys died and went to hell. When they arrive the devil informs them that he is going to remove their penises. "Oh, how are you going to do it", asks one of the guys. "Whatever your fathers jobs were, that's how I'll remove them" says the devil.

So he calls over the first guy "Your father was a lumberjack... So I'll cut it off with a saw" To the second guy he says "Your father was a blacksmith... So I'm going to burn it off"

As he calls the third guy over he notices he's smiling. "Why are you smiling, you just watched me remove your friends penises" says the devil. "I know" replies the man "but my father was a popsicle maker"

Friday, January 23, 2009

These jokes are good - Part 1

Mommy's Balloons

Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.

Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.

A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Just had to post this...

Encountered this while playing FM 2009...


SAFFC playing in world club championship...

幸福万岁



Check out the very last part (after 2 mins).

Saturday, January 17, 2009

You play Football Manager 2009 too much if…

- The list of recently loaded programs contains only of FM 2009, FM Genie Scout, FM 2009 editor, WinRar, "FM2009 v9.2.0 Patch Installer.exe".

- You brought National Team of Madagaskar to the golden medals of World Cup three times.

- You did this with different tactics.

- Being on stadium (in RL) you shout “Mentality – attacking! Closing Down – often!” instead of “Go Liverpool!” Happy

- Your neighbours wake up during late night after your shout “Goooooooal!” when there is no football on TV. Sleeping Half moon

- You remember statistics of all your players in all matches of last season.

- Your colleagues think that FM 2009 is your favourite accounting program.

- Your boss thinks so as well!

- You know exactly what club will be managed by Freddy Adu when he becomes a manager.

- It’s easier for you to create new tactics than write two text lines.

- This created tactics becomes very successful and all your fellows start to use it soon.

- In the minds you set mental skills for your relatives and friends. For instance, father: Work Rate = 15, Determination = 5. Boy

- Ha, mental skills! You can even set preferred moves to all of them!

- It regards girls as well. Girl

- You always change individual instructions (mentality, creative freedom, closing down) during sex. Red heart

- Your friend says that he will come later after he came to you with beer and saw you playing FM.

- He haven’t visiting you for a week since that time but you forget about him anyway.

- Your wife feels hurt if you call some “Aguero” during sleep. Sleepy

- Your 5-year son knows who is Henry Saivet and Georginio Wijnaldum.

- Moreover he can even write their names without mistakes.

- Your 3-year daughter can do the same! Happy

- When you close your eyes, you see small figures of players that are running and scoring goals. Soccer Ball

- When you open your eyes, you see the same!